I kind of maybe ought to be legitimately punished for not going to bed. 

It’s going on four weeks where I’ve been pushing it, staying up super late. Only a few weeks until classes start. If I keep this up I will be in big trouble. Not to mention how tired I am at work as it is. Why am I torturing myself? Maybe how I cope with things without the physical outlet of being taken apart by you.

Need for structure and discipline (and hard stuff) at all time high.